When one begins to feel contempt for whatever one can truly feel happy about, it’s a strangely uncomfortable situation. Whatever you do a part of you would always hate you. So you cannot do anything. And then a part of you hates you for being able to do nothing.
You can hate everyone but on a lonesome day, when nothing else occupies your mind, you tend to look at others for some release. And then you try to be agreeable to them. You laugh at their jokes and show interest in their lives. And then when the thirst is quenched you feel that spite for having been so weak. So vulnerable to happiness. So inclined to have the acceptance and approval of people you loathe otherwise.
Had the source of discomfort been outside, you could have left it somewhere. But you just can’t get away from yourself. No matter where you go, you are always there. It’s a disease if not anything else. And it’s fatal.
a remarkable insight. we are all so vulnerable to happiness of course. but eventually its a fair thing i guess as long as we aspire to remain human. we need to break our vanity shields occasionally. what do you say.?
ReplyDeletenot really sure.
ReplyDeletewe could be hypocrites even in our sub consciousness...but indeed this is what happens to all of us..such a common observation...period!
ReplyDeletesaale.
ReplyDelete