Handcuffed

I felt like running away from there as I could not be seen walking with him. It was, to say the least, embarrassing. I knew that two objects in same position are not necessarily in the same state. Their directions, velocities and motivations can all be different. Even their states of rest can be so different from each other. But I doubted that others care enough to pause and think that way. They see you two together and you both are same for them. But whatever I did, I had to be with him. We were handcuffed together by some old sadist judge who must have found this hopelessly funny: to see us struggle against each other for life for some crime we could not even recall.
Over the years, we had reached a simple understanding. He would guide us by the day and I could lead by the night. The pact did not end the hatred but at least it brought peace.
On a cold winter night, I went to meet my girl. I was pathetic and was dragging my baggage along. I had not shaved in months and I smelled like shit. To top it all I was broke. So I asked her why she loved me. She said because she knew I would never hurt her. It felt good then but on my way back I replayed it in my ears. Had she not said that I could never hurt her? I was always aware of my impotence but nobody had ever thrown it in my face that way before. I never saw her again but I pledged that someday I would hurt her bad. I never did. For next couple of months I spent all my waking time preparing plans of torturing her and murdering her. I wasted so much time imagining her writhing in pain and screaming for help that I satiated my vengeance even without actually harming her. Those imaginary scenes of her suffering were so perfect that any real attempt to seek revenge would have been a disappointment. And so I proved her right. I did never hurt her.
His girl, on the other hand, looked at him with awe. He was always right. He knew what to say and what to do at what time. And not just before her but always. Even when nobody was watching us. He was kind and brave. He could tell right from wrong and could fight for it. Benevolence was his second name. He felt inspired by every tale of heroism and he would be touched by every story of love or loss. He showed his parents respect and took care of them. He would rumple the hair of any kid whom he came across and help the blind cross the road. He used to give alms to beggars and would greet even the peons with a smile. He was patriotic, believed in democracy and he stood for free market as well as socialism. All things good, even if contradictory at times, were a part of him.
That day he was a connoisseur of arts. He took me and his girlfriend to an art exhibition. He moved himself so much by the collection there that he went silent for a long time. We took a walk back home and after much insistence by his beloved he told her what he had felt. He explained to her how the artists had used different techniques and symbols to convey their thoughts. He explained to her the meaning of whatever was on canvas. I wondered that if there was a better way to express what the artists hoped to express, does it not render their whole effort useless. I thought it was witty but then I felt ashamed of it. She thanked him for the explanation as without it she just could not get what it all was about. He expressed his inability to express his love for paintings and how he could identify with what the artists had to say. As a matter of fact, he had never failed in his attempt to identify with the stories behind the paintings. All this while I kept cursing the judge and planning my release even if it meant cutting his or my hand off.
But I did not. Because even though I hated him, he completed me. He believed he was a human being and considered me an insect. I thought a true human can never be anything but a day dreamer and by that logic I was the human among us while his exaggerated attempts of appearing humane proved that he was a cockroach. Either ways, we were a pair of a human and a parasite. We both threatened each other’s existence and there by gave each other’s existence a meaning.